55. How to Get Out of a Funk

Hi everyone. I’m Saralyn Hodgkin, and this is the podcast to practice your leadership.

Hi, all. Good to be here with you today. As I am, I’m just looking over at my dog, sleeping, not a care in the world, just saving up energy to make sure that the house is protected from any squirrels or, uh, raccoons that might come around, right? You know, the life and times of a dog.

But she’s got me thinking about and reflecting on a lot of conversations I’ve had recently about people just hearing a lot of noise and having a lot of stress, and it’s like not even having the energy for the stress, but words I’ve heard maybe they resonate with you was like being in a funk. Or do I even have the energy to do this? Or, I’m feeling really just not excited and zombie-like on Netflix and what, whatever it is, right?

There’s some of these states that I’m hearing from people around this time of just running on willpower, being disconnected and blurry and just asking like, why am I doing this? Who am I doing this for? Where am I headed? Why am I even involved in this? What’s the point? Some of these kinds of conversations and.

Places of just like, ugh. Right? If you can feel it in your chest. And not wanting to be there and not necessarily being there all day, every day, but it’s this round of just sensing into that. And I thought I’d just bring it here to number one, say I’m seeing this in people and people talking about it.

And so if you are, it’s normal first and foremost. And second of all, I get asked the question a lot around, so what do I do with this? Does this mean I should quit my job? Does this mean that I’m in a state of depression? I, what does this mean? Right? And the energy starts to get there, right? And, you know, as a leadership coach and a team coach, people are asking me, so how do we hold this for ourselves and for one another?

And so I thought that’s what I would focus today on is sharing some of that because I too have found myself in these seasons of just being blah, total funk. Questioning things, allowing the noise to be turned up full throttle in my head, which then takes me to places where I am ruminating or just having like this almost addictive cycle in my head of these thoughts that are just not positive or constructive.

Doesn’t mean they’re that I don’t give the maritime or I try and squash them down and erase them. It’s more like, Ooh, when I stand back, what am I noticing and observing? Why is all this noise happening in my head? Why am I choosing to keep the volume turned up? And where is this feeling in my body of not excited?

Where is the question coming from of do I even have the energy to do this task or be in this whatever, or go on this great excursion this weekend? Where is it coming from? When I stand back and I observe without judgment and I get curious about what’s going on. Hmm. What comes up? And so part of this practice is just noticing, gosh, this is gonna sound so simplistical, sorry.

But it, it’s real simple and so challenging is noticing. Noticing when the noise is going off. Noticing when that season. Can we call it the season of the funkies? I don’t, whatever it is, right? When those seasons come, what happens in your body, in the stories you tell yourself, in where you put your energy or don’t, what happens for you and what are the indications for you to stop and notice and just take stock of, hold on, what’s going on here? With love, without judgment? What does that look like?

Rather than starting to chase down a rabbit hole, like I had one person say like, do I even have the energy to do this job? Maybe I should just quit. It’s like, okay. Yes, and. Let’s stand back and take notice of what’s going on. What’s the context around you? What is in terms of your emotional field, in terms of your thoughts, in terms of your energy, in terms of what’s going on in your life. Like what’s, what’s happening, right? And what’s happening in your leadership, your workplace, your family, your community, your hormones?

Like what’s going on on all levels, right? Zoom in, zoom out. And what does that mean around the season that you’re in and how you can accept that season without trying to push for I should, I should be better. Oh, I should just be grateful. Oh, I should. And you start shoulding all over yourself and it’s like, ooh.

If we turn this should into a can statement or a will statement, you know, I should just be more grateful. I should, well, I can be more grateful and I will be more grateful in my gratitude practice this evening, but right now I just feel like shit, and that’s okay. And I’m actually not gonna answer that email.

Right. It’s like, okay, I, I, I take stock of what’s going on here. I know how to handle myself, but here it is. When we get into these seasons, What can we do to notice, to sit with, to be here before we just walk away or try to cure it or try to solve it or just push through, right? And that kind of energy.

What does it mean to make space for, wow, it’s really noisy in my head right now, and I’ve got a lot of questions that are just bringing me right down. I’m gonna sit with that. What is that telling me? What does that mean for me right now? Hmm. Taking your breath.

Okay, I just wanna notice this and I’ll just go on with my day. Or what are some things I could do right now? Well, I could recommit to my goals. What are my goals? What are my goals for the next hour? What are my goals in my career over the next five years? Right? You, you decide what the scope is. How close, how far.

Let’s look at all the noise and stories and questions going on in my head. What is this telling me? And when I step back and take a breath, is it that, you know, what’s the point? Why am I doing this? Where’s this headed? Is it really that I’m questioning this job, for example, or this project, or is it that I’m so stressed out because of something else going on in my life?

Or is it, or is it, or is it right? Like reflecting and getting down into root issue of what’s going on and being curious and observed from different angles and then coming to yourself and saying, yeah, what am I trying to listen for? What is trying to get my attention in my life?

What is trying to signal for me to listen without judgment, what is flirting with me in, in my peripheral vision? For me to just try and try to open my lens a bit wider about what’s going on here, and maybe, maybe it’s just that you had a stressful conversation with the principal about your kid and you’re really worried about your parenting and how they’re gonna turn out and how you’re this and that.

I mean, I totally, I was there last week, gotta tell ya. Or maybe it is that there’s something disaligned in your work for you and how you wanna be showing up now. Or maybe, or maybe, or maybe, I don’t know. You know the answer. You just need to put yourself in a place where you can listen and it may not come with such super clarity, right?

Let’s respect time as a flowing property, not just as some scarce thing you’ve gotta do everything with, and then figure this out and I only have so much time. Let’s back off from that. Take a breath. Say, okay, sit with what’s going on now. Move along, make sure I manage myself and if I’m gonna send that email or not right now.

Take a moment, honour your energy. Honour where your energy’s at and even come into a place of uninterrupted time. Five minutes, right? An hour, whatever it is for you to just say, what am I learning right now? For me, sometimes I use a journal, free flowing writing. Some people use tarot cards, meditation, walk, like whatever it is for you.

Go for a swim, work out, move your body. Do some pottery, do some art, don’t. Do some cooking, chop some carrots, like whatever that is, right? However is your process. And I guess that’s where the next question comes in is, do you have a process? Have you designed your practice for what I’m gonna term resiliency, and I don’t mean that as in, ooh, how do I bounce back and out of this?

It’s cultivating the practices to be able to open up that space for yourself to say, Ooh, wait a minute. What’s going on for me? What am I learning here and now how do I wanna move forward? And being able to be responsive from that place versus reactive. And now I’m just gonna send that email and oh my gosh, I’m gonna yell at my kid.

And right. Different kinds of spaces here. And so when I find when I’m running on that willpower or feeling super disconnected, or there’s a whole bunch of noise to notice that it’s happening, stop, drop and roll, right? Just to take a moment and say, okay, what is it that brings me back? What are the practices of mine that helps me come into a place of responsiveness?

Maybe I’m saying something right, cuz now the dog just got up to lay in a new spot. I don’t know, whatever it might be, but here it is, right? Being able to get your head above the slog and focus on your path, not the noise that’s surrounding your path, but the path before you, that sometimes has a whole bunch of fog or noise and it’s hard to see.

Can you review the practices that work for you to come back into that space of responsiveness and resilience, to open that window of being able to say where is my path? Where am I headed? And tone down the external validation and being able to connect to other things that matter into my life than this noisy thing in front of me.

Right? What do I want? What do I need? What am I learning? So my offer to you here is we all come into these times and spaces. Sometimes it happens on a regular basis, weekly, monthly, annually, quarterly, seasonally. Sometimes it pops outta nowhere. But when the noise comes and you notice the questions that are not serving you, but are keeping you in angst, can you notice? Can you make space to be able to come in to a practice that works for you?

Keep on with the practice all.

Thanks all. I’m Saralyn you can find me at holonleadership.org. I walk alongside you as you practice your leadership.