2. Embracing First Times

Hey everyone, I’m Saralyn Hodgkin. And this is the podcast to practice your leadership.

Hi, everybody. What a friggin first time. I’m in one. Anybody else hear that kinda title before? Brene Brown is the first one I’ve ever heard it from. And she’s got some resources on it. But this idea of just a friggin first time, you know, you can use different f bombs, if you’d rather, I’ll still stick with friggin just to just to stay clean. But friggin first time is a really good way to, for me it is anyways, to be able to play with the idea that wow, I’m trying something new. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Hold on.

Hey, maybe I should have a little bit of ease. How about I name this a friggin first time. I mean, I’m in one right now, everyone. I’m in this idea of creating sort of like a light podcast of sharing out some of my thoughts and some things that noodle around in my head and that people said, hey, I’d like to know more about that, or, well, that’s really neat. And it’s like, oh, well, maybe I need to learn that somewhere. And it seems to me that podcast audio, it’s a good way to do that.

But you know, I haven’t done that before. Wow, I’m at a first time. I’m in a first time. And so one of the things that Brene Brown shares in defining for the first time is, hey, how about you just start by naming it? Like, can we just acknowledge how many things are we ever a part of that we just don’t even acknowledge? Sometimes I don’t acknowledge that I’m in a first time and what can that do to all the inner narratives that go on in my head? What can that do when I say hey, I’m in a friggin first time? How about we release some of the pressure? Cause it’s just my first time?

Hey, how about if we recognize that in this first time, Saralyn, this is all stuff that’s going on in my head? Recognize that it’s a first time and that’s what I’m in? And maybe we can just be a little bit lighter? Oh, yeah, yeah, we could do that. It’s all going in my head at this whole team that, that that plays in my mind. And I just find that naming it helps reduce the perfectionism tendencies I can have. So here we are naming it a first time, this one I’m in. And what I’m doing here is developing some perspective, developing some perspective to normalize that, hey, this is new context is new territory. This is new landscape. This is new for me. And it’s not new for that person or that person. And that’s their story that’s not mine.

So how about I get a little bit of perspective, and this isn’t always going to be a frickin first time. But it is for me right now. And so this uncomfortableness, like I’m squishy in my chair. And, you know, I’m sort of like just trying to, to help my nervous system, you know, just just say, hey, the discomfort I’m feeling, yeah, it’s temporary. It’s not forever. And you know what, it’s kind of healthy. Because it’s reminding me physiologically, psychologically, in all these different ways, mentally that hey, I’m in a friggin first time.

This is normal context to be in this case, in creating a podcast like this to be a bit nervous and to not have everything just right. And just so hey, I’m learning. I’m learning into this. Let’s stay in that perspective. So if I’m naming this friggin first time, and I’m developing perspective around it, then can we, Saralyn in my head, reality check these expectations. Can I reality check my expectations? Can I stand in a place where I am good enough, just by showing up, that I have some stuff to share out into the world and the world to decide if it’s useful or not.

And I don’t know how that’s gonna go. And that’s just, that’s just fine, right? This journey I’m on, it’s not going to be fast and has not even gonna be fun. And it’s not going to be where necessarily I wanted it and what I started dreaming up. I dream up all these expectations. And it’s like, whoa, hold on. Hold on a minute. What are the expectations right now the expectations are learning. The expectations for me right now our kindness, self kindness, expectations, our playfulness and giving it a try.

I have a wonderful producer helps him with these things. I have a supportive family. I’ve planned this and worked for an awfully long time. So you know, the frickin first time here is I started this podcast, the expectations are have some fun, have some learning that goes on. So Brene Brown in this friggin first time stuff she builds up this model, right, name it, develops some perspective. Reality check your expectations, and over COVID I think she first launched this idea and I might say this wrong but I think was like March 2020. And then she revised it when, you know it’s January 2021, where it’s like who am I, this COVID thing is a friggin first time that’s just going on and on.

But two of the things that she added in was building R&R. Right? So if you’re naming it, you’re developing some perspective and reality checking your expectations. Build an R&R because your brain gets tired. And one of the things that she shared was that sleep is this form of self respect. Yeah, I need to have some R&R because if I come in trying to create this podcast or being in whatever friggin first time it is, and I’m already tired and my brains overworked, how am I going to hold these expectations that are healthy in this perspective that is healthy.

And then in the context of COVID, what the fifth thing that she added was to stay in this condition, this friggin first time condition. And I think this is really important. You know, you can think about working out or having some alone time or getting extra sleep or, you know, whatever it is for you. And figuring that out for you and yourself, with your family, with your team, with your community. And however you define that, but there’s something here around resiliency, as we stand in the face of ever constant complexity and change.

While COVID was a friggin first for what 8 billion people is another friggin first time that we’re entering into, which is coming back in. And there’s this woman Robin, I was part of the peloton team with, that says she doesn’t want to bounce back. She doesn’t want to come back. She wants to rise higher. And I thought yeah, wow, how do I continue to stay in a resilient friggin first time condition when I know complexity and change are ever present. And that I don’t want to go back, I want to rise higher. I want to have the resiliency to be able to stand in ease and rest when that’s needed. And to stand in action when that’s needed. And to be able to serve those waves of change. Whatever they may look like as they come. Friggin first times, y’all, they’re, they’re real. They’re real. Stay in the leadership practice.

Thanks. I’m Saralyn You can find me at holonleadership.org. I walk alongside you as you practice your leadership.